its the little things I think will get me through.
I am thankful for all my friends, and their support. especially my new friends who are going through the same experience. Also for my old friends who help me keep my chin up. I cant wait for more girls nights!! I also cant wait for company. (hint hint people form MA)
I am thankful for every text, chat, and chance to skype with my love.
And as crazy as my life is right now I am thankful for that and it keeping me busy. Its only 1pm and I feel quite accomplished today. finally starting to get my florida life in order, as well both of our lives. ALMOST have my car ready to register down here. And apparently my bar prep agenda was wrong since today it told me "no assignments- memorial day" after I worked my tush off , but im glad to be on top of that too! Tomorrow im going to sign up to volunteer at the shelter :) Cant wait to play with little kitties and puppies!
Now i am much anticipating a wonderful skype date then perhaps reading/ nap by the pool.
If I may vent for a moment though, on things that suck to deal with when your alone. One I cannot set up new items of technology.. ps3 unconnected equals no movies for me. A chewed tv wire from the pup could have cost 4 dollars for someone who knew how to replace it but now, cost us $55. Better then they said but its one of those things I read about, hoped it wouldnt happen to us, but already did. sigh...
Oh well, life my not be ideal but its getting me by for now.. all i can say is by the time he gets home I will have the most cleanest most organized house ever... and then we'll be packing it up to move... atleast that is something else to look forward to!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Even on my weakest days....
...I get a little bit stronger
Deployment, I feel, is hands down the hardest thing a couple will ever have to go through. it takes strength courage and sacrifices on both sides to get through. I am so grateful to have the relationship that we do. While i know nothing about this is easy and nothing will truly make it easy I am lucky that riley has done everything he could do.
Before he left he was my shoulder to cry on and he wiped my tears. He was re-assuring and at most times comforting. Talking about everything we had to look forward to could usually put a smile on my face for I am so grateful for our future together. When i felt like i should be helping him prepare, he has there for me- cooking for me, and vacuuming and offering to do anything he could to help out right up till he day he left. He even helped me study for bar prep. I cannot say it enough how amazing he is, how lucky I am to have him in my life and how much I love him.
My emotions have been out of control. Ive felt anger, pain, heartache, moments of rage, loneliness, depression, resentment. Ive done my best to control them but I think the only thing you really can do is let love come before them all. sometimes its hard to remember that love, really is all that matters.
Sometimes it really feels like im trapped in a nightmare, and I just want to wake up and see him by my side. I dont know how long it will take to allow this to feel "normal" I feel like by the time it does, he will be coming home and we will be re-adjusting again. That re-adjustment I look forward to. for now im stuck dealing with escaping cats, glue-eating dogs, broke wires, oil changes, and poop scooping.
So has begun the nights of not sleeping, the hours of anticipating the moments when we get to talk; so begins my sole responsibility of caring for the dog, the kitties, the house, the cars, the bill paying; so begins a chapter in our relationship where we will grow stronger emotionally and appreciate each other more. I just have to keep telling myself that we can and ofcourse will get through this and be better and stronger because of it.
i love you riley minahan, and im counting the days till you are back at my side <3
Deployment, I feel, is hands down the hardest thing a couple will ever have to go through. it takes strength courage and sacrifices on both sides to get through. I am so grateful to have the relationship that we do. While i know nothing about this is easy and nothing will truly make it easy I am lucky that riley has done everything he could do.
Before he left he was my shoulder to cry on and he wiped my tears. He was re-assuring and at most times comforting. Talking about everything we had to look forward to could usually put a smile on my face for I am so grateful for our future together. When i felt like i should be helping him prepare, he has there for me- cooking for me, and vacuuming and offering to do anything he could to help out right up till he day he left. He even helped me study for bar prep. I cannot say it enough how amazing he is, how lucky I am to have him in my life and how much I love him.
My emotions have been out of control. Ive felt anger, pain, heartache, moments of rage, loneliness, depression, resentment. Ive done my best to control them but I think the only thing you really can do is let love come before them all. sometimes its hard to remember that love, really is all that matters.
Sometimes it really feels like im trapped in a nightmare, and I just want to wake up and see him by my side. I dont know how long it will take to allow this to feel "normal" I feel like by the time it does, he will be coming home and we will be re-adjusting again. That re-adjustment I look forward to. for now im stuck dealing with escaping cats, glue-eating dogs, broke wires, oil changes, and poop scooping.
So has begun the nights of not sleeping, the hours of anticipating the moments when we get to talk; so begins my sole responsibility of caring for the dog, the kitties, the house, the cars, the bill paying; so begins a chapter in our relationship where we will grow stronger emotionally and appreciate each other more. I just have to keep telling myself that we can and ofcourse will get through this and be better and stronger because of it.
i love you riley minahan, and im counting the days till you are back at my side <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)