2 weeks down, too many to go.

I should post in this more on my happy days too incase anyone reads this and thinks i just completely fail at life. next. time.

just over 2 weeks in to my first deployment its safe to say im still struggling mentally, but growing and now struggling physically. boo. damn you third floor apartment. I should have stuck with the tiny amount of groceries I had when I had to suddenly rush home for a failed skype date. Yup, right now im pretty sure I've sprained or strained my pelvic muscles. The initial burt of pain was the most pain I have ever felt Im pretty sure. I didnt think anything could top the pain of the separation of deployment but boy that sure did. If childbirth is anything like that... well i don't know. It's another one of those things where being alone in a new place, knowing who or if you have anyone to call is probably even scarier then the pain itself. I am thankful for beatrice for coming over to help me out!

Now I use up my strength taking the dog to pee. Sitting in one position feels amazing. However all I can think about is horrible things among those is "how much extra time will i be studying this week to make up for it??" Oh how I cannot wait till this dreadful test is over.  it really is one of those times where not having the man around the house REALLY stinks. Not that I need a man to take care of me, after all Im a woman!!! But to have someone else deal with bozo.. Not to mention the buggies. eww. must go complain about those tomorrow. I lost a battle with them too so now they must pay.

One battle I still think I face which if probably atleast partly my own fault for overthinking everything is sometimes I still feel like an option instead of a priority. Im thankful for all the time we do get to spend talking which I'm sure is more then most other couples going through this but its so hard to think about them having a free day and you sitting around waiting. (Normally I'd atleast try to find something to do but given my semi-immobility thats out for today) I know I probably look at it the wrong way but its difficult to overcome. Despite our history of being long distance, alot of this is still all new to me and Im struggling to learn the ways still. Im struggling with a constant emotional battle with myself. (having fieldhouse temper within me does not help in times like these) All I can say is be the next (and FINAL) deployment, I hope to be and should be a pro. Bring on homecoming!